mama mia

Motherhood has been on my mind a lot lately. I've been trying to figure out what exactly motherhood means and feels like. Maybe it's different for every woman. For me, I've felt like a mother ever since Harrison came into my life. I didn't carry him but I've tucked him in at night, I've made sure he understands his homework, I've made him happy, which makes me happy, he's made me smile, laugh, cry, rush home from work to be with him. For all intents and purposes, I've been mom for a while now. But now that I'm facing the prospective of carrying his brother or sister in me, giving birth to my biological child, I wonder if other mom's feel differently with their different kids. Would they admit it if they did? Do we have different relationships with our mothers than our siblings do? I think so. I think every mother/child relationship is different and unique on some level, right? Does that make some relationships smaller than other- or just different? It depends on the mother and the child right?
One thing that is certain though is that being a mother makes you appreciate your mother so much more than you ever did before. The late, sleepless nights, the stress over how to handle different things, the tutoring and the hours spent helping with homework, the vacations, the laughs, the dinners and the grocery shopping. Honestly, having only one child, I have NO idea how my mom handled having 4 kids at one time! That is just craziness!
One of my favorite moments with my mom that I will always remember, and that she probably doesn't remember in the slightest, occurred probably 20 years ago! We were driving in the car, running errands and decided to take a detour and run one more errand that was out of the way. I ask the question: "Can we get there from here, though?" Her response: "YOU CAN ALWAYS GET ANYWHERE YOU WANT FROM WHERE YOU ARE RIGHT NOW." That, to me, is the essence of what my mom has always encouraged in me. She has always supported any path we have found ourselves going down. She has always done everything she could do to help us achieve our goals, to get us where we wanted to be. She has been encouraging, supportive and proud of us the whole way.
Mother's Day is still a few days away- but I think it's such an important day of the year. So, mom, this year, I wish we could go back in time, make breakfast for you and bring it into your bedroom early on Sunday morning. But, since I can't be there- I hope you know that you are loved, cherished and honored, every day of the year!