I've never been able to picture myself as a stay-at-home mom. But that's what I'm about to become, for atleast half the year anyway. I've been spending the last few weeks of this pregnancy preparing my office for my departure- delegating tasks and management to other people, and having a VERY hard time letting go of that control of my work that I cherish so much. I love working. I love being an attorney and I love my daily schedule. Sure, there are days, especially now that I'm 36 weeks pregnant that I just want to stay in bed all day. But it's never as good as it seems to be. Take Wednesday for example. I was completely exhausted after having gone through 4 hours of false labor, counting contractions and timing the intervals all while sitting at my desk Wednesday morning. So by 2pm I headed out the door, to go home and nap before Harrison's baseball game. But by the time I got home, I realized it was time to go pick him up, cram in homework, teach Harrison how to find the Net Surface Area of a variety of shapes, get him into uniform, fed and to the field before the game started- so no nap or rest time. Sure, James was absolutely there to help with all that stuff, but James is also working 70 hours a week, had to take the dog to a vet appointment and was on and off conference calls for 10 hours on Wednesday. There's only so much one man can do....
My point?
Not sure, actually. I'm not sure whether to be excited about the prospect of feeding, napping, changing diapers, making lunches, doing laundry, cooking and cleanings as the full-time job. It doesn't sound fun, and it certainly doesn't sound easy. Does that make mean I'm an abnormal woman? If so, do I care? What about corporate formations, mergers, dissolutions, discovery requests, legislative analysis and regulatory reform?? Am I going to miss work? Am I going to be so excited to get back here after 6 months? Is my entire outlook on this subject going to change once Cassidy actually gets here?
I guess we'll soon see....
Friday, April 16, 2010
About to become a Stay-At-Home-Mom, Me? Really?
Posted by Jessica Snyder at 9:10 AM
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3 comments:
I cannot believe it is so close!! :) I am sure you are ready for her to be here. I know you will love being a mom but it is ok to love work and your time too and do both - You need the balance!
This is exactly how I felt before Mary was born. My advice would be, don't worry about figuring out what you want right now, because it will probably all change soon anyway and you can figure it out then! And I feel so bad for you that you are just so so tired. Isn't that the worst? I'm excited for you guys!
Hey Jess...I have learned after 4 kids and loving my job that you just find balance where you can. I have learned that I can't do everything and be perfect at everything and it was a hard lesson, but a good one. All I know is that they are worth all the worry and stress and things just seem to fall into place! Good luck!!
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